if you like me you must not know who I am
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
