Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
