Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
