i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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