she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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