Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
