What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
