Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
