I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Can I color on your dick again?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
