my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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