Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
