Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
