He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
