I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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