I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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