What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
