yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
