Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
