Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
