Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
