Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
