yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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