She said her name was "party"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
