Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
