all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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