Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
