I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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