it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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