Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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