so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
So much Jack, so little girl.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
