Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
