even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Two words: blizzard sex
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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