i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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