I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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