apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
