I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I have aggressive nipples.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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