you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
