So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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