so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Randomize
