My first STD was from a foam party
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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