Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
