So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
