My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i came on her dog
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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