It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
