If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize