I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
True college students do jello shots in the library
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