# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
