Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
