You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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