I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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