so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
wat bout pragnant strippers??
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Randomize
