he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
